So, a wingnut and a moonbat are buddies and go fishing. The moonbat doesn’t bother to bring a fishing pole, line or bait because he doesn’t believe in ownership of material things. The wingnut brings an extra rod, line and bait in case he loses or breaks something.
When they get to the lake, the moonbat points out that he has nothing to fish with, and reaches for the extra rod the wingnut brought.
“Uh uh, nothing doing, buddy, you want to fish, you provide your own rod, line and bait.” the wingnut says.
“But I don’t have any of those things” the moonbat replies, “and you have one you are not even using, so you should simply loan me your unused one and we can both have fun.”
“You knew we were going fishing, you should have brought your own.” replies the wingnut, getting rather peeved.
“I have way too much on my mind to keep track of such trivial details” replies the moonbat, “besides, I can’t afford such toys since I devote so much of my time and money to the truly needy. Which is better, that I have a fancy fishing rod, or that a homeless man have a meal?”
“Well, if you had a fishing rod, line and bait, you could bring that homeless man a lot of meals, and not bum my extra rod off of me.” Grumbles the wingnut, but realizing that the day is going to be unpleasant if he is the only one fishing, he gives in. “Here, go ahead and use it, but be careful with it, it was a gift from my father before he passed away.”
So they head out and begin fishing. After a while, the wingnut catches a fish. The moonbat comes over to him, “You caught a fish.”
“Yep,” the happy wingnut says, “a nice trout, it’ll taste nice with some butter and lemon.”
“It’s not fair” says the moonbat.
“What’s not fair?” asks the wingnut.
“You caught that fish because you kept the better rod, line and bait, and loaned me inferior equipment.”
“What the heck are you talking about? I loaned you a perfectly good rod, line and bait because you didn’t bother to bring one. You’re lucky you have anything to fish with at all.”
“Well, all I know is that you kept that rod, line and reel, and you are catching fish.”
“Fine!” the wingnut replies, “Here, I’ll use that one, I really like it anyway. Use this one, but be careful, it was a gift from my son before he went off to fight in the war.”
“Good, I really want to catch some fish.”
Some time later, the moonbat still hasn’t caught a fish, and the wingnut has caught three more. The moonbat comes over to the wingnut with fire in his eye. “You’re cheating.”
“What!?” the wingnut replies.
“You’re cheating, you have some secret trick that you are using and you won’t share it with me. That’s why you’re catching fish and I’m not.” the moonbat accuses. “By right two of those fish are mine.”
“I’m sharing everything I have with you already, and you are welcome to two of the fish, but it’s not my fault you don’t know how to fish. I’ve been watching you thrash around in the water, fishing downstream, slapping the water with the line, in general scaring the heck out of the trout. You’ll never catch fish that way.” the wingnut points out.
“All I know is that you are catching more than your share of the fish, and that’s not fair. I am entitled to the same number of fish you are entitled to!” As the moonbat excitedly waves the rod around to puncuate his angry words, the tip of the fishing rod catches on a twig and breaks off.
“Look what you did!” the wingnut exclaims in horror. “You broke my fishing rod! That’s my best and most treasured fishing rod and you broke it!”
The moonbat looks at the end of the rod woefully and says “Great, now what am I going to fish with?”
“You aren’t going to fish with anything!” the wingnut replies angrily. “Give me back my stuff. You can wait in the car until I’m done, then you can pay me to fix this rod.”
“Well, you are just hateful!” the moonbat exclaims. “What gives you the right to decide who fishes and who waits? I have every bit as much right to fish as you do! We should share the remaining rod until we leave, taking turns.”
“You are crazy” says the wingnut.
“As usual, you wingnuts always turn to hate and attack people you disagree with” the moonbat says. “I knew better than to come fishing with such a hateful, selfish and stupid person.”
“Well one thing is for sure,” says the wingnut, “you won’t ever have to worry about that again.”