Americans are pure Darwinists when it comes to sports. Europeans and most of the rest of the world are anti-Darwinists.

This is the only way I can comprehend the popularity of “futbal” which we know in America as “kickball”… or something like that.

Americans like sports which have obvious survival benefits. Non-Americans have fallen in love with a “sport” which promotes anti-survival activities.

This is easy to demonstrate. Here are the five most popular sports in America:

  • Football (real football)
  • Baseball
  • Basketball
  • Hockey
  • Golf

Let’s say you are stranded on a desert island and need to rely on your highly trained sports skills to survive.

Americans will immediately grab a stick and tie a stone on one end and use their hockey and golf training to club the local fauna into submission. If that’s not enough, they’ll pick up small stones and hurl them at the local fauna, knocking them out of trees or in the case of certain slow-flying seabirds, out of the very air. If that’s not enough, us crazy Americans will hurl our own bodies at our prey, tackling them and then using our clubs on them.

Apparently the rest of the world would wrap vegetable matter into soggy balls and kick them at their prey.

This is why America rules the world.