[fade into scene of press conference in Washington D.C. where a crowd of liberals are rushing forward towards John McCain, who stands on a stage. The crowd is carrying a man on a log who is tied up.]

CROWD: A liar! A liar! A liar! We’ve got a liar! A liar! DAN RATHER: We have found a liar, might we impeach him? CROWD: Impeach him! Impeach! JOHN MCCAIN: How do you know he is a liar? HARRY REID: He can’t pronounce “nuclear”. MCCAIN: Bring him forward. GEORGE W BUSH: I’m not a liar. I’m not a liar. MCCAIN: But you are documented as one. BUSH: They made up the documents. CROWD: No, we didn’t — no. BUSH: And those aren’t real memos, They are false ones. MCCAIN: Well? RATHER: Well, we did do the memos. MCCAIN: The memos? RATHER: And the news report — but he is a liar! CROWD: Impeach him! Liar! Liar! Impeach him! MCCAIN: Did you make up these documents? CROWD: No, no… no … yes. Yes, a bit, a bit. RATHER: He has got a smirk. MCCAIN: What makes you think he is a liar? JOHN KERRY: Well, he made me vote yes on the war. MCCAIN: A vote for war? but you look so French! KERRY: I got better. REID: Impeach him anyway! CROWD: Impeach! Impeach him! MCCAIN: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether he is a liar. CROWD: Are there? What are they? Do they hurt? MCCAIN: Tell me, what do you do with liars? REID: Impeach! CROWD: Impeach, Impeach them! MCCAIN: And what do you impeach apart from liars? RATHER: More liars! MAUREEN DOWD: Men! MCCAIN: So, why do liars get impeached? [pause] DOWD: B–… ’cause they’re men…? MCCAIN: Good! CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah… MCCAIN: So, how do we tell whether he is a man? RATHER: Snap a thong at him! MCCAIN: Aah, but can you not also snap thongs at eunuchs? REID: Oh, yeah. MCCAIN: Do men ignore sexy women? RATHER: No, no. REID: They flirt, they flirt! RATHER: Throw him at Hillary! CROWD: Hillary! Hillary! MCCAIN: Ah, what also will trigger flirtation? RATHER: Mary Mapes! REID: Unions! KERRY: Money, lots of money! RATHER: Television cameras! REID: Taxes! Taxes! RATHER: Fake memos! REID: Classified leaks! KERRY: Buckets and buckets of money! REID: Senate majorities! DICK CHENEY: Paris Hilton. CROWD: Oooh. MCCAIN: Exactly! So, logically…, RATHER: If… he.. flirts with Paris Hilton, he’s a man. MCCAIN: And therefore–? DOWD: A liar! CROWD: A liar! Paris Hilton! Paris Hilton! MCCAIN: We shall use my largest video monitor! [yelling fom crowd] MCCAIN: Right, run the video! BUSH: Wow, she’s cute! CROWD: A liar! A liar! CROWD: Impeach him! Impeach!