[fade into scene of press conference in Washington D.C. where a crowd of liberals are rushing forward towards John McCain, who stands on a stage. The crowd is carrying a man on a log who is tied up.]

CROWD: A liar! A liar! A liar! We’ve got a liar! A liar!
DAN RATHER: We have found a liar, might we impeach him?
CROWD: Impeach him! Impeach!
JOHN MCCAIN: How do you know he is a liar?
HARRY REID: He can’t pronounce “nuclear”.
MCCAIN: Bring him forward.
GEORGE W BUSH: I’m not a liar. I’m not a liar.
MCCAIN: But you are documented as one.
BUSH: They made up the documents.
CROWD: No, we didn’t — no.
BUSH: And those aren’t real memos, They are false ones.
MCCAIN: Well?
RATHER: Well, we did do the memos.
MCCAIN: The memos?
RATHER: And the news report — but he is a liar!
CROWD: Impeach him! Liar! Liar! Impeach him!
MCCAIN: Did you make up these documents?
CROWD: No, no… no … yes. Yes, a bit, a bit.
RATHER: He has got a smirk.
MCCAIN: What makes you think he is a liar?
JOHN KERRY: Well, he made me vote yes on the war.
MCCAIN: A vote for war? but you look so French!
KERRY: I got better.
REID: Impeach him anyway!
CROWD: Impeach! Impeach him!
MCCAIN: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether
he is a liar.
CROWD: Are there? What are they? Do they hurt?
MCCAIN: Tell me, what do you do with liars?
REID: Impeach!
CROWD: Impeach, Impeach them!
MCCAIN: And what do you impeach apart from liars?
RATHER: More liars!
MAUREEN DOWD: Men!
MCCAIN: So, why do liars get impeached?
[pause]
DOWD: B–… ’cause they’re men…?
MCCAIN: Good!
CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah…
MCCAIN: So, how do we tell whether he is a man?
RATHER: Snap a thong at him!
MCCAIN: Aah, but can you not also snap thongs at eunuchs?
REID: Oh, yeah.
MCCAIN: Do men ignore sexy women?
RATHER: No, no.
REID: They flirt, they flirt!
RATHER: Throw him at Hillary!
CROWD: Hillary! Hillary!
MCCAIN: Ah, what also will trigger flirtation?
RATHER: Mary Mapes!
REID: Unions!
KERRY: Money, lots of money!
RATHER: Television cameras!
REID: Taxes! Taxes!
RATHER: Fake memos!
REID: Classified leaks!
KERRY: Buckets and buckets of money!
REID: Senate majorities!
DICK CHENEY: Paris Hilton.
CROWD: Oooh.
MCCAIN: Exactly! So, logically…,
RATHER: If… he.. flirts with Paris Hilton, he’s a man.
MCCAIN: And therefore–?
DOWD: A liar!
CROWD: A liar! Paris Hilton! Paris Hilton!
MCCAIN: We shall use my largest video monitor!
[yelling fom crowd]
MCCAIN: Right, run the video!
BUSH: Wow, she’s cute!
CROWD: A liar! A liar!
CROWD: Impeach him! Impeach!