The best Christmas song ever was obviously:

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You’re as cuddly as a cactus,
You’re as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.

You’re a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.

You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart’s an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You’ve got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Grinch.

I wouldn’t touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Grinch.

Given the choice between the two of you
I’d take the seasick crockodile.

You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You’re a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. Grinch.

The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: “Stink. Stank. Stunk.”

You’re a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
You’re the king of sinful sots.
Your heart’s a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. Grinch.

Your soul is an apalling dump heap
overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment
of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You’re a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse.
Mr. Grinch.

You’re a three decker saurkraut and toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce.

Ed:

Are you going to get all cultural on us?

Carol who?

Does your wife know?

Of the “traditional” Christmas songs that I enjoy listening to, these are probably at the top of my list:

– The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire) – Nat King Cole
– White Christmas – Bing Crosby
– Holly Jolly Christmas – Burl Ives
– Blue Christmas – Elvis Presley
– It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas – Perry Como
– Sleigh Ride – Various artists
– The Most Wonderful Time of the Year – Andy Williams
– Feliz Navidad – Jose Feliciano
– Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree – Brenda Lee
– War is Over (So This is Christmas) – John Lennon

Jingle Bell Rock, by Bobby Helms is probably my favorite.